The moments I spent agonizing ever since 2 days ago still wouldn't make me feel less pain. Off course dude. I am suffering from a physical blow, there is no way agonizing will heal it, sigh. But other than howling because of pain, I can't seem to find any solution for it besides let it heal itself.

How do I get this pain? What did I do to receive such treatment? How come I never try avoid it? I believe all these questions pop into your mind after you saw what is up there. No doubt I am having a few blows on my body but I am not sad about it.

It all started with a tae kwon do training on tuesday night. I was ask to conduct the class at 8.30 pm as our instructor hadn't arrived yet. Sigh, being "Dai Si Heng" doesn't sound to good now, aren't it. To me, conducting a class is just as what i am being taught as triple S, Sap Sap Sui(to tell the truth I was a little nervous of it since I hadn't taught for more than a year). Anyway I started off with the usual routine and trust me, it is dead boring just to elaborate it out here.

Anyway as the class gone into the period of half an hour, Master arrived and took over the class. As usual, the master is not just somebody who only knew teaching tae kwon do but he is actually a lecturer in disguise. He started with the ongoing activity that was being carried out then which was free sparring. The talk started off with all the advise, technique, tactic and all the other usual stuff.

After 15-20 minutes of just talking, he started with demonstration. Being the senior among seniors, I was supposed to be glad to be there to be the demonstration tool for my juniors. That's when all the pain started.

Don't look at him and think he is too old. Age will never stay but the power and the skill will nevertheless have part of it remains from its golden age. I was instructed to launch as many kick as possible and I did. Boy I was wrong not to held some strength just incase. I kicked full power as I could and all the kicks was being avoided and block. Lastly after the 3rd kick, my leg was being held and I was being pushed down onto the floor. I couldn't avoid it or minimize the blow and up until now I am still partly agonizing over it as my rib bone was still feeling the aftermath of that blow.

After that blow I thought the day was an end for me as the demo ended. We continue training and after half an hour, our master begin a follow up technique from the previous demo. As usual, I was summon out for the demo. I knew my day couldn't be that lucky with just 1 demonstration. When I was out standing in front of my juniors for the next demo, I was instructed to open my leg. Guess what happen next?

Since the tip was given so openly, I'd say you could just openly say it out rather than keep on guessing. My reaction was quick as my hand reach for my lower body. Luckily it avoided the kick my master launch. Well he chuckle I was lucky to have my hand in one piece as the kick didn't reach where it suppose to be. I was also said to have great luck as master said he could avoid my hand just in time. Well according to him the kick was only suppose to almost reach it destination and my hand have made the destination nearer than it was suppose to be. Imagine the protecting hand was just doing its job and it was hurt as it increase the length of being hit. Sure it is not worth the effort it put in, aren't it?

Master said no worries as the hard part about being a martial artist pro is to aim at it and yet we did not hit it. That require a lot of skill and practice. I totally understand about it as a martial artist, we were train to hit the target as precisely as we could. To aim at it yet we aren't suppose to hit the target means a whole lot more to most of us.

After the talk, the demonstration continue and I continue to suffer many hit that was unable to hit. Gosh I was scared if so happens he missed the aim accidentally and hit me. Imagine the mental horror I was having back then and I am sure you would be quite scared too.

Trainig resume and not long after that, class ended. We all went home and to tell the truth, I was still feeling scared then.

Today is not really much of a difference from my typical uni days as usual ever since last year i started this lifestyle. It is just the typical wake up, go college, study, eat, sleep through classes, attending society etc. Life is as usual, the nonchalant attitude spreading along with different topics surrounding us.

Secretly sometimes i really wish i would have put up a little effort into getting myself a girlfriend. At the very moment spent writing this blog here is one of those moments i personally felt emptiness, the sort of emptiness you are going through when you have somebody intimate or close enough to share what ever thinking or feelings that i am having right now. I am not sure am i to be blamed for not for not putting up effort to couple myself with another gal or something. Allow me to say this, when guys do boast about the greatness of single life, they are actually tired of being single already.

I never seem to have meet the right girl at the correct moment. If you ask me have i ever had a crush over any gals, i am pretty sure by adding up both my hand, the number of fingers wouldn't be enough. Somehow i seem to be keep falling for gals who have been in a relationship for some time or just get into a relationship with a new guy. Later on when they broke up with their current Ex, they would have developed a great friendship with me, you know that sorta very good friend type of relationship because most of the time i have diminished the "crushing" feeling towards them. Ironic, aren't it? Yeah, thought so.

I have always ask myself this question: Hey William, why can't you develop feeling for any single gals? Why must you always fallen for somebody who has been taken? Why dude, why must you keep torturing yourself? My taste for women is always exquisite. I hold the feeling of love at first sight is very important. I can't be describe of somebody who only love good looks in a woman. The basic looks of a woman is still very important to me no matter how deep of the quality in am looking in a gal. As i always mention, life isn't always fair. You are never fairly treated, the test will always be there standing & awaiting of your presence. Take the test, run it with strong will & victory will be yours.

Nevertheless, i am feeling tired with days moving on. I need somebody to share my burden. Even though i am a man, i am also a human flesh. I also need 2 feel somebody pampered themself against me. The essence of a woman, is they do best when it come to caring & treating a man. A very good example of a guy who have somebody who is intimate enough to take care of them both physically & emotionally, the guy will always shine brighter than any other guys.

The first day of June, year 2007 I thought it was a day I would freshly start again with the blow of losing my counterparts in this new semester. I was too naive to think that losing them would not be felt deeply by me, but the fact is I was more than feeling their depart was something I could easily handle with.

The day started with i couldn't really able to continue my sleep in the wee moment of the day. I slept reasonably early, not later than 3 am on that day yet i woke up at 8.30 am. Surprisingly i never thought myself could resort to such little sleep. Somehow the mood of sleeping was around when I lie on my bed. At the moments of awakening, I felt a sort of mixed emotion throughout my whole body, an emotion i never felt before. Now, let me explain something first, it is not those dirty stuff what you guys are thinking. The whole day I spent moody throughout the whole day's course of actions.

As Friday would set out to be, it was almost becoming a routine for me to attend cell group at Amy's place. Today was no difference & the cell group progressed as usual. When it ended, it was gonna be yam cha as usual. Well today was rather different, after yam cha she throw me an idea which had enlightened my mood throughout the whole process. Man, i really owe you a big one, Amy.

After a day of grieving over a few stuff, I have resort to my final resolution, Amy, you are the best friend I ever had. Thanks for the moment you spent in kicking off my moody. You are the best friend anybody would ever wish for.